1. Beware of the “bitter root expectancy.”

This is the common situation where someone who has trauma and hurt from the past continues to project it upon others who are not actually seeking to cause them harm. Through operating from hurt they pick up unnecessary and unjustified offenses against others.

2. When you have been genuinely wronged, remember that hurting people hurt people.

When Jesus commands us not to judge it helps us to think upon the fact that everyone is often the way they are because of hurt that they have gone through, and now they are spewing it onto others.

3. Don’t wait to forgive them.

They may not ever repent and apologize. We are still responsible to forgive and learn to love them with the love of Jesus. We all have been forgiven, we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. God has removed our right to withhold forgiveness.

4. Try to work things out with them.

If they have hurt you, talk to them about it and try to see if they understand what they did. If reconciliation is possible, pursue it. If you discover that they are unwilling to work it out with you, then wait for a better time to pursue reconciliation. Never stop praying for the will of God, which is ultimately reconciliation.

5. Pray for them.

Even if you are angry at first. Pray for them. God wants to do a work in your heart that will set you free from the toxic stew of bitterness. If you still feel hurt when you think about them, keep praying for them until you sense God’s love in your heart toward them.